haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
