I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
