Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
