Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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