I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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