At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
