Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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