I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
