You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
