I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
