she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
