you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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