Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you would pick up someone in the library
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
