its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
