There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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