The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
