Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
