I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Pooping to opera.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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