Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
