i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
