Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
