and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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