OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
