And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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