it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
