can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
