worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
