just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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