I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
