Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
