I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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