i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
