Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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