why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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