best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Randomize
