Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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