I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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