so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
