Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
