I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
