Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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