I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
