White coat. Heels.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
