your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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