**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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