I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
