Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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