you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
