i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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