what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
